Monday, July 21, 2008
Sleeping child
Watching u sleep is such a delight
Tiny toes curled
Stubby fingers clenched tight
Your hair a mass of black velvet
button nose upturned
lips as pink as they can get
Your wispy eyebrows arching out
Eyes shut tight
little mouth making a pout
You suddenly smile a small smile
that smile then breaks into a million smiles
Making me wonder what u are dreaming of, all the while
You strike a pose of perfect bliss
Contentment and happiness
Making me pray, today, tomorrow, so it forever remains
Small step, a big step
Tomorrow is my son Raghav’s first day at pre-school. He is 3 years and 7 days old.
Raghav is quite excited about going to school. He loves his new bag, book, pencils, crayons, water bottle, Tiffin box….
He has been telling me for quite some time about wanting to go to school having watched the neighborhood kids board the school bus right in front of our home.
Tonight as I sit to read him his favorite bed time story, Raghav tells me that he didn’t want the usual story. Instead he wants to hear about his new school.
So I tell him how nice his teachers would be, about the friends he would make, the games he would play, the songs and rhymes he would learn……
He fell asleep with a smile on his lips. I knew he was thinking about school already.
I lie on my side and watch him sleep. Try hard but I still find sleep evading me. I toss and turn, kiss my darling son a thousand times wondering all the while, Was my baby really big enough to go to school? What if some bigger kid would hit him? What if he felt hungry? What if he wanted to use the bathroom? Would he be able to convey to them what he wanted? And what if he cried for me, his mama?
It only seemed yesterday that I felt him in my tummy. He tossed and turned like he was having great fun. I knew it then that I was in love with him even before I would see him. My baby with his big black eyes, button nose and crooked smile….he ensured I would be devoted to him. I knew his smell, I knew his tears, I knew his fears and I knew what would make him smile. I had rediscovered my childhood all over, seeing him enjoy every small little thing. And the last 3 years flew by so fast that it was as though the umbilical cord had been never cut.
Now my baby boy was big enough to go to school? Well sure, I knew this was a part of growing up. This was to be his first, albeit small, step in his life. And I for sure wanted him to be independent and not grow up into a clinging mama’s boy. But what I didn’t know was how hard this first step was, accepting your baby was big enough to be on his own.
While I wait for elusive sleep to take over, I look at my sleeping child and think,
No matter how big you are or how far you will go,
You will always be mama’s little boy….
No matter how big your mama’s fears and worries are
She will step aside and let you walk on your own….
For all that matters is you
And when you are engulfed by joy and happiness
Know that your mama's dreams have come true.
Raghav is quite excited about going to school. He loves his new bag, book, pencils, crayons, water bottle, Tiffin box….
He has been telling me for quite some time about wanting to go to school having watched the neighborhood kids board the school bus right in front of our home.
Tonight as I sit to read him his favorite bed time story, Raghav tells me that he didn’t want the usual story. Instead he wants to hear about his new school.
So I tell him how nice his teachers would be, about the friends he would make, the games he would play, the songs and rhymes he would learn……
He fell asleep with a smile on his lips. I knew he was thinking about school already.
I lie on my side and watch him sleep. Try hard but I still find sleep evading me. I toss and turn, kiss my darling son a thousand times wondering all the while, Was my baby really big enough to go to school? What if some bigger kid would hit him? What if he felt hungry? What if he wanted to use the bathroom? Would he be able to convey to them what he wanted? And what if he cried for me, his mama?
It only seemed yesterday that I felt him in my tummy. He tossed and turned like he was having great fun. I knew it then that I was in love with him even before I would see him. My baby with his big black eyes, button nose and crooked smile….he ensured I would be devoted to him. I knew his smell, I knew his tears, I knew his fears and I knew what would make him smile. I had rediscovered my childhood all over, seeing him enjoy every small little thing. And the last 3 years flew by so fast that it was as though the umbilical cord had been never cut.
Now my baby boy was big enough to go to school? Well sure, I knew this was a part of growing up. This was to be his first, albeit small, step in his life. And I for sure wanted him to be independent and not grow up into a clinging mama’s boy. But what I didn’t know was how hard this first step was, accepting your baby was big enough to be on his own.
While I wait for elusive sleep to take over, I look at my sleeping child and think,
No matter how big you are or how far you will go,
You will always be mama’s little boy….
No matter how big your mama’s fears and worries are
She will step aside and let you walk on your own….
For all that matters is you
And when you are engulfed by joy and happiness
Know that your mama's dreams have come true.
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